It was a very emotional time for both of us today for a couple of reasons. First being that we don't know how long we will be here; Chase could foreclose on as as early as the scheduled foreclosure sale date of June 7th. Needless to say, the labor comes with mixed emotions.
We have not been treated well by Chase Home Finance during this battle and yet we maintain a property which they could very well rip away from us along with our $80,000 cash down payment. It's not enough we have paid a mortgage, homeowner's insurance and flood insurance for the last couple of years based on the sale price of $392,000.00, when the value has been reappraised at $0 (ZERO). Perhaps this is where I Peter 3:17 comes in; "For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing."
The emotions ride high today as well for yet another reason. Working outside used to be one of our favorite times together; a healthy activity where we would listen to a sermon on our IPODS, being ministered to while getting our chores done. We also had four little friends around us to keep us company. Bella and Sophie would push the wagon around with Mike, and I would often find him sitting on the ground with the girls visiting him.
It's so much different now. With our animals gone it seems so empty outside, and empty within our aching hearts. All that remains are some feed dishes, water buckets, manure piles to mow and their hay trough. Mike blew out the shavings left in the barn from when we loaded the little one's up in the trailer to leave the other day. It's feels like this giant eraser is wiping away every part of our lives.
We both do not want to disappoint or disobey God. We know that our treasures are to be stored in Heaven, and our hearts do belong to Abba first and foremost. But the reality is we are both battling with sleep deprivation and depression. We don't talk about the current situation much, we just pray and try be productive. But then there are those moments when we sit in silence snuggled together; an occasional look into one another's eyes says it all.
When we purchased this property we negotiated with the seller's to include their Cub Cadet riding mower in the purchase price. With five acres to maintain it was clear that a push mower was not going to cut it. No pun intended. With 80 plus pecan trees shedding leaves each fall, and five acres to mow year round, the little Cub Cadet really gets a work out.
After the storms hit in April of 2008 and we experienced the results of flash flooding, it was apparent that we were going to need more help, and that's when we invested in the tractor. The box blade was used to move dirt that had eroded back up towards its origin, as best we could.
The bush hog was used to help with the abundance of leaves and smaller branches, and those areas of grass that became so thick after long bouts of rain when the mower couldn't get the job done. When the grass was too think the mower deck would often disengage a belt.
The last attachment for the tractor was the rake which was used to drag leaves and sticks that had washed into heavy mounds, mounds to heavy and thick to use a shovel to move. It would drag the mounds out to where we could use the front loader to scoop them up and dump them onto the burn piles.
Now that the tractor is gone we are back to the little cub cadet and breaking our backs. With finances being what they are we have had to forego some repairs to the mower. We have a punctured tire that is currently bald and filled with green slime to keep it going. One of the drive belts for the deck (there are two) kept shredding. The repair shop told us over the phone that it sounds as if this is due to something broken off, a sharp piece somewhere in where the ball bearings are that drive the belts. We went through belt after belt but it kept catching the belt as it rotated and shredding it. So, the one belt has had to suffice for now.
The blade also hasn't been sharpened in almost two years now. We can't afford the $100 to have them pick up the mower, and we don't have a trailer to haul it to the repair shop ourselves. So we are praying and asking for God's mercy on the little cub cadet.
The strain is immense. We don't know if Chase will foreclose on us; and have to keep the property maintained for drainage purposes, and because it is the single most important motive for Chase to allow us to stay on the property and not foreclose.
Update: Today is April 29th, 2011 and we received formal notification from Chase's legal firm of their intent to foreclose on our home within thirty days if we don't bring our mortgage current. Balance due them is just over $12,000.00.
