OUR STORY Part 53: LESS THAN TWO WEEKS LEFT TO SAY GOODBYE

The camera was not on the right setting as I hurried over to the window, but I wanted to get a shot of the nightly routine I had discussed in an earlier blog about Duke's resident friend Raccoon.

Duke lays under the window sill every night waiting for his buddy. After the Raccoon eats some left over cat food or bread crusts he comes over and stands on his hind legs while he and Duke press noses up against the window to say hello for a bit.

His friend then takes a bath in the big water dish and goes on with his evening while Duke goes back to sleep under the window sill, sometimes only to awake up later for a return visit from the little guy.

What a sweet memory we will treasure for sometime. I hope the next owners don't pull out a 22 and shoot at any of these precious creatures.

On another note: Mike and I have been working hard to clean closets, drawers and our office; organizing what we can in preparation for the estate liquidation sale.

Mike went to bed feeling very sick last night as a result of the ongoing surmounting stresses. It resulted in his having a major headache and nausea. Amongst other things, we have  been working on the unknowns of our immediate future; gathering contact information for emergencies while on the road to our new life, wherever that may be???

We have been filling out and sending off numerous applications and resumes to multiple areas, but nothing has transpired yet. We also sent correspondence via fax and followed up with numerous phone calls to the mortgage company and their foreclosure law firm in an effort to get them to work with us on our need for a little breathing room in this transition. But our correspondence has been much to no avail. They don't care or even have consideration enough for our plight to give us the courtesy of returning Mike's voice-mails.

They like so many others bring to thought the story of the man who fell amongst thieves.

“And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,

 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.

 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?

 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.”

Luke 10:30-37

There is still this battle at times when we find ourselves caught in the emotional paralysis of the "deer in the headlights."  The reality that after three and a half years our case came to a screeching halt.

We were supposed to be in trial next month, October 11, 2011, against the sellers' realtors and their brokerage firm. The senator's office and our attorney had both been communicating with the foreclosure law firm and Chase Home Finance in efforts to stave off foreclosure until we had an opportunity to have our case heard before a jury. This was successful until mid July when our lives were forever changed by the decision of one local judge who literally turned our world upside down; tossing out our case along with our civil right to seek justice and financial remedy through a jury of our peers.

The recent decision still haunts us along with comments made by individuals including our own attorney; inferring that as transplants from southern California we have simply been shut down by local small town politics.

It's irrelevant at this point as we are now on the fast track to losing everything we have worked so very hard for over many, many years. I think back on those 120 hour work weeks and the lengthy business trips doing trials away from home. Then there is all of that time, effort and love that went into Mike's efforts to provide me with my first real "home" and safe haven. It's all gone now, just like that!

“As through this world I ramble
I see lots of funny men.
Some will rob you with a six-gun
And some with a fountain pen.”
-Woody Guthrie

I have these periods of peace when I am able to meditate on God's promises; but then there are those times of complete melt down when we are hard at task dealing with the reality of our circumstances; selling off all of our memories of building a life together. It just becomes so physically and emotionally overwhelming at times; and not for lack of trying to express such in this blog, but there truly is no way to articulate what it is like to go through these past four years.

Mike doesn't look well these days and I find myself still checking to make sure he's chest is moving and he is still breathing in the middle of the night. Call it dramatic, but it's the reality of our life right now.

My blood pressure has been running high and consequently my vision has been very bad, combined with episodes of seizure activity. This only adds to the numerous stress factors Mike already has on his overflow palate.

We discussed again this morning how it is ever in the forefront of both our minds that we do not want to fail God in our words or thoughts. (Hebrews 3:12) Trusting God is not an option. Oh this wretched flesh of ours. Today I shall meditate on:

Proverbs 3:5-6

King James Version (KJV)

 ⁵Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
 ⁶In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Catch me Father, lest I fall!

OUR STORY Part 36: FOUR YEARS OF SURMOUNTING STRESSES

I haven't had the physical or the emotional wherewithal to write for a couple of weeks, but today is a very special day; and as such, it brings to the surface some emotions that we normally stuff down in order to maintain our momentum as we trudge along through the steepest and highest stretches of this extremely long and immensely rocky trial.

If you’ve ever gone on a long hike up in the Sierras or some undeveloped mountainous area, you realize the importance of pacing yourself and not resting for too long at any point before you reach the peak; lest you lose your aspiration to even finish the climb.

Mike and I have both made a commitment to oneness with God and one another; endeavoring on a journey of continuous spiritual growth in the very face of this adversity. If it weren’t for the strength, endurance and unconditional love resultant of our faith and commitment to God, I suspect that the trials we have endured over these past four years would have annihilated us, and most newly married couples for that matter. But praise be to God, we have yet to turn on one another; but instead have remained securely aligned in faith, prayer and patient love.

Having said that, we are still human and occasionally succumb to moments of difficulty; battling physical exhaustion, oppression, and disappointment. Delays continue to drag out this arduous legal battle of hearings, depositions and postponements; not to mention the looming threat of foreclosure.

On top of that, we are struggling to survive the maintenance on the property with a mower running on one belt and a very dull blade. And as if things couldn’t get any more stressful, we walked over to find a puddle of water developing along the fence line which means we have an underground broken water main pipe; and since we no longer have the home warranty coverage to help us with a plumber we can’t address this right now.

So why is today a very special day? Today is our fifth (5th) wedding anniversary; four of those years have been spent dealing with the trauma and legal circus surrounding our “dream home”; a house located in a flood zone and atop a designated drainage easement.

The fact that these individuals could betray us through the act of fraud; having us invest our life savings in this property is bad enough; but to continue to lie and perpetuate three years of malicious delays in our civil case, lacking any remorse over what they have done to our lives is unconscionable.

I haven’t had a question about our love surviving this experience; but we both have had a question as to whether we both will endure this physically.

The other day Mike shared that his chest felt concave and he was dizzy. Mike’s isn’t at all one to exaggerate; so I took it seriously when he said “I thought there for a while God was taking me home.” He hasn’t been looking good, and still doesn’t sleep through the night. Today after working outside mowing a while and weed whacking he sat on the Jacuzzi edge. I pulled up on the mower and turned it of; he looked really bad. I asked “Are you okay?” He couldn’t even get a word out of his mouth, but simply mouthed to me “I’m. . . okay.” He didn’t seem real coherent so I asked him again and he just gazed at me with this strange look. He eventually walked in the house and we called it a day.

This is one of those times that I struggle with feeling anger towards these defendants, and the ongoing evil in dragging on this charade of lies; especially with all of the indisputable documented evidence against them.

Bottom line; they have had an insurance carrier taking the burden off of them for a few years and now they apparently have someone bank rolling their defense, or they are so disgustingly rich from their successful real estate endeavors that they are unscathed by these delays.

It will be very painful if we lose our home and everything we have to a foreclosure; but if we were to lose one of us…. ?

OUR STORY Part 35: ROLLERCOASTER MONDAY

CHASE UPDATE:

This tight wire act has really been wearing us out lately. Deadlines approaching, a new defense firm stirring up more delays, and our finances dwindling away.

Well, this morning we heard some wonderful news that will give us at least a little relief. Mike contacted Chase Home Finance to clear up the issue on when they had scheduled the foreclosure sale date. As stated earlier, we initially were told on the phone, June 7th; that would be just a couple of weeks away and four days after our wedding anniversary on June 3rd.

Last week we were told on the phone that the date had been set for July 5th; but not a couple of hours after that our attorney informed us that he had received a letter in the mail advising him that the foreclosure sale date was set for the June 7th date.

When Mike spoke to the representative from Chase today, she informed him that a note had been entered into their system moving the July 5th date to a status of "postponed."  Praise Abba!

It has become a very common occurrence as of late to have some good news served up, providing us some sense of relief; only to turn around and have someone serve up some bad news to knock the wind out of us, again. Today was no different; and just a few hours after we heard of the postponement of the foreclosure sale date, another defense tactic was launched.

GUNFIGHT AT THE LAWYER CORRAL:

Today opposing counsel for the defendants (i.e. the sellers' Realtors), apparently accepted our attorney's challenge to a legal duel. The weapons of choice? Legal motions, petitions and hearings!

Friday was the day that our attorney unloaded a round with his "Paintiffs' 3rd Amended Original Petition" announcing his decision to make this matter a straight fraud case; thus removing any obligation for the insurance carrier to provide legal defense representation and/or to cover any damages awarded to us in a jury verdict.

Today, defense counsel fired a round back in a newly filed "Motion for Summary Judgment"; meaning that they are attempting to have our case thrown out. The grounds for a request for Summary Judgment, is a motion where one side states that the facts presented prove their side of the matter, and thus; a jury verdict is not necessary. I am not sure if that makes sense, but in short; it is an effort by defense counsel to have our case tossed out, robbing us of our civil right to present all of our evidence before a jury of our peers.

The court website shows a hearing date scheduled for six weeks, July 30th, 2011; at which time both sides will present their arguments before the judge, who will then rule on the motion. Yes, another delay. (sigh)

JUST WANT TO SURVIVE:

Each time we take a hit it becomes harder for me to physically recover. Today was especially one of those days. After the good news from Chase, and then seeing the notice of the Motion for Summary Judgment and the hearing date set six weeks out; my blood pressure spiked and I had to lay down.

Mike laid next to me to hold me and try to help me get somewhat stabilized. He then made me some hot tea with honey to help try to alleviate the lingering headache.

My headaches become so debilitating that my face begins to hurt and feel numb. Moreover, along with the headaches I get a tightness in my chest

Surviving a mini-stroke back in 1997, I have some real concerns that add to the fact that I just don't seem to be recovering from these episodes of stress like I was in the beginning of this mess. They seem to be triggered more easily and take more out of me with each episode. Seizure activity has been more regular as well, dropping objects and having difficulty with my balance.

Mike has already seen me turn pale and collapse, and I know he is concerned. My heart just takes off like a jet engine and I can't get it to slow, I end up gasping for a breath and end up coughing a lot as my heart fills like it's doing flip flops in my chest.

The other day Mike told me "I need you in my life"; I just cry.

We pray and ask God, one way or another, to get us both on the other side of this trial; untethered from this nightmare so that we can love one another and focus all of our extra energy on serving Him.

We both pray that we will be able to grow old together, or for Abba to just take us together now. All we know is that we want to be together; and to be in His presence whether it be here or in heaven.

We love each other so very, very much.