I can't seem to sleep tonight. My gosh, this is just so very difficult, and on so many levels.
Losses, so many losses in such a short time. Horses, donkeys, our house, furniture, pictures, appliances, daily routines, a "home" and then there are those people who have become so very dear to us.
Tonight we had to run to the grocery store for our weekly shopping. It was an odd time of day, on a holiday to boot; and none of our regulars seemed to be working. It was really kind of depressing, especially since a couple of the guys have been really enjoying opening up and sharing their lives with Mike lately.
We have a little family over at Brookshire's in Lake Worth. It all began shortly after we moved here. A couple of years back the manager, Jonathan, approached us and told us that during their morning employee meeting they all discussed how we were their favorite customers. That touched us so deeply. Then just the other day one of the young guys made a point while loading our groceries in the truck to tell us that the checkers were recently discussing how we brighten up the store every time we come in, always with a happy disposition. We just looked at each other and said "wow" if they only knew.
I can remember our favorite little old box boy, Harold. He was in his seventies and lived alone with just he and his cat. He had the cutest little spiked hair do going on, and he was the most diligent worker; wouldn't let you push your own cart even though he was frail. He would load our truck and always make sure we knew where the E-G-G-S' were so that they didn't get broken. He had to spell the word out each and every time. Harold was very concerned about your eggs making it home safely, and Mike was concerned about Harold.
Mike spoke to him on several occasions making sure that Harold was firm in his relationship with Christ. Then one day we went shopping only to find out that Harold had gone home to be with His LORD. Everyone felt the loss of precious little Harold. It was after that Mike was able for the first time to engage in a conversation with the assistant manager who had always seemed somewhat shy. The assistant manager was really heart broken about the loss of his little old buddy who had passed away and Mike was able to minister encouragement to him sharing of his talks with Harold, and reassuring the manager that Harold was in a better place. That really was a very precious moment!
The young checkers are always so sweet and love Mike ministering to them. One of our young ladies is pursuing a future in ministry through the Methodist church and we were able to give her an antique leather bound Wesley Hymnal we got on Ebay for $5.00. She was giddy!
One of the young men just discipled a fellow employee, a box boy who now openly shares his faith and wears a ring that says "Man of God." The other day he made a comment about my wedding ring and said he hoped to get married one day. I was able to share with him that a nice ring isn't the foundation of a good marriage, and told him to flee any young lady that made too much out of a piece of jewelry. We talked about how growing in faith together is the true bond that ties. I didn't share why, but did discuss that we were in fact selling my ring; and went on to share that I had a greater prize in being married to a husband who walks in sexual purity. He thought that was pretty cool!
Mike and the manager have had some great moments of heart felt discussion regarding faith and sexual purity for men. One afternoon they talked about some of the provocative cardboard beer advertisements that come in to the store; and as a result, the managers have relocated them out of the main stream of traffic putting them over where the alcohol is sold. Some actually even disappeared. =) After all, they run under the banner of being a Christian grocery store chain.
We have had such precious moments with the young checkers and courtesy clerks and haven't told them yet that we are having to leave because we know that it will be difficult for us all to say good bye. We have all grown so fond of one another.
Mike is writing a letter to the two young men he has been ministering to lately and giving them each one of our last two copies of
"Every Day for Every Man" out of the Every Man's Battle series. Seeds planted that God will certainly water through others down the road.
We had ordered a case of these dailys shortly after we arrived in Texas, and since then Mike has shared his testimony with many men; ministering over the past several years to the young Amish farrier brothers who recently ventured away from their roots; the tree trimmers from a broken family who were seeking for more of God; the exterminator who was praying for his broken relationship with his daughter and moving to be closer to her; the insurance salesman whose wife left him for another man; the business owner with five Rolex watches, two jags and a void in his life...and so on, and so on. Many seeds planted.
Well, I have to admit I am very scared right now. Afraid of the intense pain of the back to back losses hurting more than I can bare; and, of course scared of all the unknowns. The last couple of mornings when Mike and I have come together to pray he just holds me tight and begins;
"Father, behold your son and daughter. Do not forsake your children, we need you now more than ever. We need a miracle!" Yesterday he surprised me a bit when he prayed a prayer that spoke volumes about how this all is really affecting him. He went on to pray
"Father, we ask that when it is time, that you take us together. That we wouldn't be apart for one moment, but would enter Your Kingdom joined hand in hand." Words really can't express how deeply that touched my heart.
Well, we don't really have a clue what God's plan is for us, and as the Scriptures admonish us to
"Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." (Matthew 6:34) we can only deal with today, today. Each day has been filled to the brim with the tasks of preparing for our exit from Humble Acres. We still haven't located a trailer; and yet the sun continues to rise and set as the days rapidly approach the upcoming estate sale. We don't know anything except that God's Word promises that He will not leave us or forsake us.
Well, its 1:30am and the countdown clock has stopped, it's here now and the fight is officially over. Today someone else will perhaps take deed to our little Humble Acres.
They can take everything else but they can't take title to our love.
I love you Michael, forever!!!
