“The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the LORD. All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the LORD weigheth the spirits. Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established. The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil.” Proverbs 16:1-4
I have been asked by several people what our plans are and the best I can do right now is to write this short blog in an attempt to convey the direction our lives are headed.
We have no savings, stocks or bonds; our entire savings was invested in this property and we were depending on that and any accumulated equity in our home as our prime investment in our retirement future. As a result, we are now having to sell all of our personal belongings, including all of our furniture and my wedding ring in an effort to pay off our truck balance. The truck fits the big guy (6'4") and has low mileage, being very reliable so that it will be the last vehicle we will ever own. We only have one vehicle since my health has declined, which has precluded me from driving over the past few years.
Things on the outward are looking really bad right now and our tomorrows are unsure. The temptation to faint under the pressures is immense. We have to try and just take one day at a time and do what we can do. The rest is up to our Heavenly Father. Our prayer is for our humble trailer so we can get to a friend's lot and begin the rebuilding our lives.
If we are blessed in being able to accomplish the above then we will grab our clothes, our kitchen items and dogs, heading off into the unknown in an effort to begin the rebuilding of our lives as we continue to focus on our humble little ministry. Our ministry will focus quite a bit on reaching out to those facing financial devastation and foreclosure in an effort to bring hope, and perhaps save marriages and even lives.
During the past couple of years we have had to do a lot of research on mortgages, issues related to our property, and consequently, foreclosure. In the midst of this we came to find out that there are many more individuals succumbing to despair than most realize. The reason for this is because the media has the challenge of broadcasting salacious news stories while at the same time not escalating an already volatile situation in the mortgage industry as our economy suffers. The truth is that people and entire families are succumbing to "complete despair." These fatalities are often noted as "unknown or natural causes" so as to avoid encouraging others to follow and take the same course. But that's not enough. These people need love, encouragement and help working through the transition.
“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not. For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better: Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you.” Philippians 1:21-24
I can remember the day the trailer left with Prince and Bear. My chest was tight and I could hardly catch my breath. Somehow I just had this sense that this was the beginning of the end of an attempt to bring healing into my broken life. Instead of healing we would undergo trauma after trauma just a few months after moving in our home.
The next afternoon I went out to the barn, shut the sliding door and staring at Prince's empty stall I proceeded to throw a lead rope over the cross beam, sobbing until I couldn't sob any more.
Stressers had been accumulating from every corner of our lives and this particular seed of despair had been festering for a few days in anticipation of the rescue organizations scheduled visit to come and get the horses. I felt completely betrayed and forsaken by so many, including my God; and I simply couldn't find any reason for hope. There was anger, overwhelming hurt and so many questions as to how this could be happening to us while we were doing everything we knew to serve God and to continue praying for those who had injured us. It wasn't just about a horse(s), although that hurt terribly; it was about this very important season in my life that was to provide for a much needed healing.
All I can say is that it was the love and grace of a Heavenly Father that reached down and touched my aching and distraught heart at that critical moment. I would eventually return to the house and fall into my husbands loving arms and confess to him what had occurred.This would be a defining moment in which I would begin once again to put my complete faith and trust in God, and to do so at all costs; and do so even if it meant losing everything else; donkeys, pride, and perhaps even this horrible and unfair legal battle. Anything that held such a grip on my heart had to be entrusted over into the hands of my Heavenly Father or I was not going to survive this evil.
Hebrews 4:15-16
For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
I was now unselfishly committed in my heart to suffer loss and wrongdoing if that was what it took for Him to grind out of me all that needed to go in order to be where God wanted me to be; humble, selfless and focused on the call on my life to serve God and others. No turning back now, I was to serve Him no matter what the cost, purposed in my heart to finish this race in a cruel and unfair world; and to do so alongside my precious husband.
"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been easy. I still have days in which I have to fight through the tears and moments of depression; trying to cope with the losses we have suffered as a result of this fraud. In fact, it was just weeks after Prince was taken away that we went to trial and received a successful guilty jury verdict, only to find out that we would never see a penny of the damages awarded to us by a jury. That was Mike's defining moment.
We then went on to have a Default Judgment of $1,177,000 awarded to us, only to have that hope vacated by the same judge who signed the judgment due to a hyper-technicality in processing of service. It appears that the notarizing of the process server's signature was handled improperly. Now the defendant's signed that they received the petition, and their attorneys even confirmed to the judge that they and their clients received the petition properly. So the only issue at hand was negligence in the processing of the server's signature; the individual being an officer of the court, reportedly a sheriff employed with the Orange District Attorney's office. How can that be?
That $1,177,000 vanishing dream signed by the judge still sits in a manilla folder somewhere, not being worth the paper it's written on; but simply a cruel reminder of the injustice we've endured.
The latest kick in the gut was really difficult to take and we are still wrenching from the pain of the trauma in our hearing that the second phase of our law suit was tossed out by the judge. It wasn't thrown out because it isn't a proven valid case of fraud with strong supporting factual evidence. And it isn't the fact that the judge is unaware of these facts being that he has already sat through a trial hearing these facts. All parties know that our case has already resulted in a guilty jury verdict; and that the guilty verdict came down despite the fact that all of the witnesses and the most damning documented evidence has yet to be presented before a jury. This evidence being the prophetic email from Martha and the email from the sellers' Realtors to the title company.
No, our case was simply tossed out because of apparent errors which occurred during the litigation process; including assertions that language contained in a settlement agreement signed two years ago, back in 2009, gave way for issues of Collateral Estoppel and Res Judicata. Or just perhaps the added dynamic of some "uncomfortable coincidences" played a part? As painful as it is, we have resolved the fact that we may never know the whole truth as to what all has really occurred here.
We are both learning to take one day at a time and understanding that justice is to be left in the hands of God and we won't always understand His timing or methods. For He is long-suffering, wishing that none should perish, but that all come to repentance. (II Peter 3:9)
People are hurting everywhere, and if we would just open our eyes and hearts we will find them. You don't have to go to a third world country. They are your neighbors. They are those lowly people who look down at the ground as they walk past you in a parking lot. Some are ragged and filthy; and may even smell horribly.
Others may be dressed in fine apparel, driving expensive vehicles and working high profile jobs; but their lostness can be seen as they drowned themselves in the acquisition of "things." They simply turn to their careers or their wealth to numb the pain of a void in their lives.
Who knows; the hurting might be someone like you or me, the neighbor next door or down the street whose lives are being broken and shattered; unnoticed by others because everyone is so preoccupied in their own little world of self.
We're all guilty to some degree and we need to spend more time seeking out the lost and hurting amongst us. We need to covet the gifts of compassion, humility and selfless love; spending less time focused on us and our stuff. We need to avoid succumbing to participation in the social ostracizing of a neighbor or colleague as a result of gossip and presumption; looking beyond the external man while taking a good long look into the condition of our own hearts and motives.
Man has a bent towards a focus on the outward physical appearance of others, giving favor or preference to good looks and economic or social status.
God looks at the heart ... Their Heart ... Your Heart ... My Heart!
1 Samuel 16:7 ~ King James Version
7But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.
