OUR STORY Part 52: TRUST~A PERPLEXING PARADOX

Over the past three and a half years my husband and I have found ourselves struggling with the progressive decline in our predisposed nature of believing the best in others unless proved otherwise. We have always made an effort to treat others honestly and ethically; just as we would want them to treat us. We felt our lives were pretty balanced with regard to this area and our dealings with others.

It is still very difficult for us to understand how those involved in our real estate fraud could knowingly do so with the likelihood of their actions leaving us damaged both financially and emotionally; and without one ounce of conviction, proceed to blatantly lie throughout the entire process of civil litigation.

Last night I was lying in bed talking with Mike about all we have gone through when this paradox just crossed my mind.

Me: "You know, it's such a perplexing paradox."
Mike: "What's that honey?"
Me: "Well, defense counsel attacked us for putting too much trust in our professional realtor. They inferred that we should have approached her with more caution, expecting that she may very well be capable of cheating us; and because we didn't treat her suspiciously from the get go it was just as much our fault if fraud did in fact occur!"
Mike: "Yeah, I remember that!"
Me: "Well, in essence they are saying we should have treated our realtor as 'guilty' from the onset; yet, their very careers are based on a judicial system that expects a jury to treat their client as 'innocent' until proven guilty. Again, I can only say ... what a perplexing paradox!"
Mike: "Hmm...that's a good point!"

Well, the jury ultimately did find her and her brokerage firm guilty of knowingly committing statutory fraud and negligence against us. And although we failed to collect the financial damages awarded to us due to an error on the jury charge, the economic devastation would turn out to be the least of our problems. We now find ourselves having difficulty believing that anyone truly cares for another human being without some underlying agenda or self-serving interest. It's like this uncomfortable shield has been engaged and we have been robbed of the freedom we once enjoyed in embracing our fellow man with an expectation of truth and trust.

And this goes much deeper with regard to those professing to be Christian. Our realtor was a professed Christian as was the couple selling us the house. This profession of Christianity was the underlying reason we had so much confidence in the purchase of our home. Moreover, our realtor and I connected on the common ground of being victims of domestic abuse, adding another layer of trust to our relationship.

Literally hundreds of emails were produced by us during discovery that would tell a story of more than just a house being sold, but of a friendship being developed. These emails were rolled into the courtroom in large bankers boxes. Conversely, no emails were ever made available by our realtor. Perhaps this is because of the lack of disclosure, or perhaps because these emails showed the depth of personal communication between her and me.  Apparently they were lost along with any hard copy files or faxes. Our emails showed the exchange of personal photos and conversation from both directions.

I can still remember praying with her on the phone one day when she expressed she was having a busy week and very fatigued. Then there were those plans to get together and be shown around by she and her husband; dinner at Julio's, her broker's cutting horse competition, and a BBQ at her place to meet the chickens and see the cat fish pond. We really connected; or so I thought.

“False witnesses did rise up; they laid to my charge things that I knew not.
They rewarded me evil for good to the spoiling of my soul.

But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom.

I behaved myself as though he had been my friend or brother: I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother.

But in mine adversity they rejoiced, and gathered themselves together: yea, the abjects gathered themselves together against me, and I knew it not; they did tear me, and ceased not:

With hypocritical mockers in feasts, they gnashed upon me with their teeth.
Lord, how long wilt thou look on? rescue my soul from their destructions, my darling from the lions.” 
Psalm 35:11-17

Although the layers of deception began being peeled away before our depositions; it was only during my deposition that I would find out how involved our realtor was with the fraud instigated by the seller's realtors. Approximately a couple of hours into my depo, an email was slid across the table by defense counsel representing the sellers' realtors. I was asked to read the email and then questioned as to whether I had ever seen the email before. I had not, and was never copied on the email thread.


When I saw the email I looked over at our realtor who gave a great big snarly look with her lips pursed, eye brow raised. Wow, this was my sister in Christ?

The email contents were from our realtor to the sellers' realtors following the first flood determination that was withheld from my husband and me. The first flood determination accurately put our house in the flood zone. As a result, the mortgage broker went to our realtor who in turn went to the seller's realtors asking for anything they had that would contradict the flood determination and/or pull the house back out of the flood zone. Of course the seller's realtors already knew they had a problem. Remember, the house has been in the flood zone since 1998 via FEMA.

At that point we had no idea how involved our realtor had been in the fraud; and when I read the email I felt such betrayal that I immediately broke down crying. We had to break from the depo so that I could have time to get my composure back.

Something hardens inside when you're betrayed. It's like an automatic defense mechanism that engages to protect you from future hurt. I don't want to feel this way and ask God to keep my heart pure and soft; to help me maintain a pliable heart of compassion and love for others.

I'm sure there are those who thought our law suit was about anger or exacting vengeance; or that we hoped to yield some absurd inflated payday; but they would be wrong, so very wrong.

One thing I can say about my husband and me is that by the grace of God we have maintained a commitment to keep our motives and hearts aright and to pray for these individuals who wronged us throughout this entire time. Moreover, we have always remained open and welcome to a reasonable settlement sufficient to remedy our loss and move forward. No such offer has been made, not even one close to that of recovering our life savings paid out as the initial down payment.

We have always greeted defense counsel with respect and a smile; Mike extending his hand for a hand shake and small talk. We understand their role as attorneys, and although we haven't liked their legal strategy and tactics, we have never wished evil upon them. In fact, we have regularly lifted lead counsel for the sellers' realtors up in prayer over his battle with cancer.

In September 2010 when we saw the seller at court we were very gracious, smiled and said hello. We just don't want hatred in our lives or the poison of bitterness and unforgiveness to seep into our hearts and take root.

Even now after losing everything Mike and I have purposed in our hearts to hand all of these individuals over into God's fair and righteous judgment; praying that they will repent of their wrongdoing before that fateful day when we all stand before Him to account for those deeds done in the flesh.

Please don't get me wrong, I don't claim that we have sprouted wings and a halo. The battle to remain faithful through this ordeal and to put a guard over our hearts, thoughts and mouths, has been very painful and intense at times.

As directed in the word, we used the judicial system to pursue justice, exhausting every avenue available to us to remedy the wrong done to us. But, apparently God has not chosen this time or means to heal our injuries or execute wrath against those whose sins caused our injury. All will be set strait in God's time; "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right!"