Just so many roadblocks. We listed our truck on Craigslist as well as contacting a few dealerships in an effort to try and trade out our truck for an older truck that can pull a trailer so we can have a temporary home and stay together as a family. We can't stay at our friends because of their association rules in their trailer park. They went to the manager and got the bad news. We could stay with them a few days but that's it. I think it took her a couple of days to be able to bring herself to break the news to us.
It's not as easy to sell a truck in Texas as we thought. The good news is that it's truck country; the bad news is that it's truck country and everyone seems to either own one or is selling one.
The dealerships I called would buy ours back but we wouldn't make enough to get a new tandem bicycle. We only have the one vehicle so we have to somehow figure out what we are going to do. At least to get us up to our friends so we have help. I thought that maybe a dealership would want our truck because of the really low mileage; and perhaps just swap us out for an older model. We don't need anything nice just reliable. Pretty good idea eh? Mike sat me down and kindly explained the dynamics of the auto dealerships, trying to do so in a tender way so that I wouldn't feel so dumb.
Now I understand even more how it is that people end up living on the streets, and how they go so easily dismissed. You just keep losing everything. Little by little it all gets sold or taken away. And the funny thing is that people who know you begin to avoid you in the process of the dismantling of your life. I think it just either makes them feel uncomfortable; or perhaps they do not want to deal with the reality of the frailty of our lives, careers and possessions. I don't blame them necessarily. I don't want to deal with this either. Unfortunately, we don't have any choice in the matter right now.It's just been me and Mike for the past year or so and an occasional Skype fellowship with our dear friend out of state who is praying we can get to them so they can help us.
I find myself looking at the calendar more often, trying to figure out how many days we have left, and staying up as late as I can so that the days somehow last longer. Dumb huh? I can hear here 'em now. "You aren't trusting God!" They have NO IDEA how much we have trusted God to get us through this; no idea!
We just got a call from the estate sale couple and they are coming to get my wedding ring to show a dealer. I don't care about jewelry but it is just kind of hard; I have a real sick feeling in the pit of my stomach but I can't let Mike know. I just go off into another part of the house when I get depressed and get my tears out. It's hard enough for him watching me sell my ring. He's supposed to take care of me and protect me. But how does a husband protect his wife from the evils of this world that are out of his control? No one knows how much Mike has done for me. He saved my life; and he loves me with all my imperfections, being many.
Sorry if the blogs are scattered now. Who knows, maybe I'm just talking to my self.
Father, pour out Your grace upon us please.
