OUR STORY Part 60: ADRIFT

¹⁸And we being exceedingly tossed with a tempest, the next day they lightened the ship;
 ¹⁹And the third day we cast out with our own hands the tackling of the ship.
 ²⁰And when neither sun nor stars in many days appeared, and no small tempest lay on us, all hope that we should be saved was then taken away.

Acts 27:18-20

Over the past several weeks we have not wanted to respond in unbelief or fear of our circumstances. Yet at the same time we are not wanting to sit motionless in some paralysis of denial. So we have prayerfully been putting our hands to task planting seeds and waiting for the hand of God to prosper in whatever direction He wills. So far nothing has produced any fruit and we find ourselves in the precarious scenario of lightening our ship in the midst of the storm.

The estate sale is still scheduled for next week, selling all that we have with no real direction of where we are headed. We had some things in play that have since fallen through. Circulation of resumes, phone calls etc. have hit road blocks; and efforts to find a trailer have not been successful thus far; but we continue to seek and pray.

We occasionally find ourselves questioning things. Are we moving too fast? Is this His will or are we panicking? Or are we indeed on the right track and God is just not letting us see tomorrow because this is the ultimate test of our faith in His sovereignty and provision?

We can't seem to see two steps in front of us let alone tomorrow. Even when I was graduating from high school I had some sense of direction in dreams and aspirations I was chasing after; but at the age of 53 and 60 our priorities are more responsible and that of wanting to be in God's perfect will. Thus, we find ourselves to be on this unknown journey with no compass other than that of the Holy Spirit; and we are trying to remain quiet in our emotions as much as possible to ensure that we can hear Him; purposing to be in line with His perfect plan for our lives.

Are we showing a lack of faith by lightening the ship? Or does He want us to lighten the ship so that we have no tethers that bind us from moving forward?

I was Skype messaging with a sister in Christ last evening from under the bed sheets so that I didn't wake Mike from his precious hour of sleep. Mike has not been able to get any sleep and I didn't want to be up on my computer with lights on. As it is, he and I were up and down throughout most of the night...as the pattern has been for some time now.

So anyway, I was messaging with a sister and at one point she sensed the story of Lazarus drop into her heart. Mike and I got up this morning and read the story over and took note of a couple of important truths about this story; the first being that Jesus did not rush to stop Lazarus' death. Although those who loved Lazarus were grieved in despair, He knew that what was about to occur was for "the glory of God."

³Therefore his sisters sent unto him, saying, Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick.
 ⁴When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.
 ⁵Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus.
 ⁶When he had heard therefore that he was sick, he abode two days still in the same place where he was.

Next, Martha knew that although Jesus could have prevented Lazarus' death, that whatever her LORD asked of God would be granted unto Him. She was not bitter or angry at Jesus but accepted that God knew best and was ultimately in control.

²¹Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.
 ²²But I know, that even now, whatsoever thou wilt ask of God, God will give it thee.
 ²³Jesus saith unto her, Thy brother shall rise again.

And in the midst of witnessing the personal pain and grief of those who loved Lazarus, Jesus being filled with compassion also grieved and wept even though He knew what was to occur; Lazarus being brought back to life and restored unto them.

³³When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled.
 ³⁴And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see.
 ³⁵Jesus wept.

John 11:1-44 (excerpts)

(Read entire section here.)

So, is Lazarus (our lives as we know them now) dying only that they shall be revived in such a manner as to give all glory and honor to God? I mean, we have always given glory to God for anything good that occurs in our lives...or so we believe. But is this the true test? Are we meant to hit roadblocks at every turn in order for all those who witness this time of transition to give praise and honor to God as they witness us unsuccessful in the strength of our own flesh to step off the cliff of nothingness; only to see the mighty hand of God appear to catch us and place us divinely in His will for our lives?

I must admit that Mike and I have often prayed the selfish prayer "Jesus come!" Desiring Him to pluck us out of this world of sin and pain so that we may be in the midst of our precious LORD Jesus. But again, we know that this is a selfish state of mind focusing on the ease of our circumstances when our focus should be on that of reaching out to others in serving the glory of our God.

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not.

For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better:

Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you.

And having this confidence, I know that I shall abide and continue with you all for your furtherance and joy of faith;

That your rejoicing may be more abundant in Jesus Christ for me by my coming to you again.

Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel;

And in nothing terrified by your adversaries: which is to them an evident token of perdition, but to you of salvation, and that of God.

For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake;

Having the same conflict which ye saw in me, and now hear to be in me.”

Philippians 1:21-30

These days grow longer and the sleepless nights are really taking their toll on our physical bodies.We are so weary and in need of refreshing and direction. Sometimes all I can pray is "God have mercy on your servants. Give us the strength to make it through today. During this tedious uphill journey let us not lose our footing and fail you."

Today we continue to pray, listen, hope and trust.



“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30